Help Debts

Archive for the ‘How to handle your debts’ Category

How can you best handle the anxiety of financial troubles? Tune in to learn how from a surprising yet wise source.

My boyfriends parents absolutely HATE me. What do i do about this? If we’re on the phone, they find a lame excuse to interupt. If he’s coming home to visit me [hes 3 hours away with his dad helping him out with his back problems AND hes 23 and we've been together A WHILE], his dad tells him he doesn’t want him coming to visit me because he thinks ill abduct him! WTF! thats just nonsense! They are ruining our relationship and he knows it but they’re really helping him out financially as long as he helps his dad out. He isnt in debt but they’re helping him safe so when he comes home in a few weeks he can get an apartment and not have to live with his old roomates that screwed him over. How do i handle this?

I have debt. My husband does not. We don’t hold any joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine (just like if we were single). I pay for groceries. He pays for his (our) house & the utilities.

My husband’s view is that my debt is my debt and mine only. He does not intend to help me pay it down in any way. I have not asked him to and am working on paying it down myself.

He tells me that I’m the reason we can’t move forward in our relationship (buy a new house/have kids) because I have to pay down my debt first.

He has the means to help me pay down my debt. And I’ve explained that if he were to do so, we could move forward in our relationship a lot sooner.

Am I wrong to think he should help me pay down my debt? How did you & your spouse handle debt incurred before marriage?

My thought is that most people combine their money into one account when they get married, they pay bills first, put some money into a savings, and then work on paying off the debt they have between them TOGETHER. Am I completely out of my mind? (Don’t worry – I won’t hold it against you if you say so!)

Help!!
More details: My husband is 35 and I’m 28. I went to a 4 year college, have federal loans (around K) at a minimal interest rate, graduated in 2006 and have 6 more years till they’re paid off. He went to a technical school & paid as he went. I use my credit card for everything and use all my cash to pay it down every month. A bad habit I started long ago and I’m working to change. I was K in debt when we got married (he knew this) and am now about K in debt 2 years later. The source of the debt is not things like Jimmy Choo’s & Prada bags, but too much spent on groceries at Walmart, too much spent on Christmas presents, too much spent on birthday cards, gifts, babyshowers, etc. He makes about K more than I do. No prenup was ever signed or anything like that. And since we’ve been married I’ve been trying to be like him & live within my means. I feel I’m doing a great job. For him, though it’s not getting paid down fast enough.

Alison Griffiths, Columnist, Toronto Star, Host of TV show Maxed Out offers tips on how to handle your debt.

Okay, here’s my particular situation. My husband and I live in a way that I would consider frugal. We eat out once a week, otherwise I cook all of our meals. We tithe, put a lot (considering what we make — not like, millions) in savings and are almost done with *all* of our debt (student loans, car). This came out of necessity from us being relatively poor (no money in savings then) and has continued.

This Christmas, I’ve gotten a couple of nice gifts. A couple of checks and things. I spent *all* of it already.

This small spending spree has caused me to think about things differently — like, maybe I *can* wear cute clothes all the time, etc. Things I’d kind of given up the dream on.

I guess I’m concerned because I don’t feel like I accurately understand what materialism is. Compared to some in the US, maybe I’m not so materialistic — but I’m worried my view is skewed because we are so rich here!

So – What is materialism and how do you deal with it in your own life?

My husband loves computers. He likes to talk about them, help people with their problems (say on forums and such) and keep up with the best technology.

Then thing is, once you buy a computer component, it literally is 1/2 it’s worth when it arrives at your door-step. New and better things come out all the time.

My problem is, he lies as to how much he paid for an item. I’ve never given him reason to feel he needs to lie. I’ve never told him that he CAN’T buy it, but he also knows we can’t afford it either right now.

So, after a few weeks of new packages at our door stop and new components being installed, I finally get the bill… it’s OVER 0! WTF! He knows we can’t afford that… even if it’s on credit accounts [paypal buyers credit, and newegg.com credit (which I cannot close – because they are in his name).

I don’t know what to do, besides blowing my top off. We’re trying to pay off debt, and he just keeps adding more!
why would he hide and lie like that to me? When he knows I’m gonna see the bill later? I’ve never given him reason to feel he needs to lie or hide… and have never jumped on him for buying stuff… but I don’t like he feels he needs to lie! What can I do?
no, he’s not cheating on me… or hiding other bills. It’s just a matter of him lying to me… then even trying to lie again when I ask him why he lied… It makes me feel like he can’t trust me, or respect our financial situation. We’re not rich… and I am trying HARD to pay off 2 credit cards and medical bills. I just find it rude.. mostly since I’m his wife!

When you’re getting married and starting a family, it is important to be on track financially. For college graduates still paying off student loans, that means managing your loan debt and making sure it doesn’t knock you off your career path or prevent you from buying a home. But in this tough economy, where graduates are struggling to get the kind of jobs that will enable them to pay off their loans, that’s no easy task. Here with some tips on how to effectively handle student loan debt is Peter Kerwin from the Rhode Island Higher Education Assistance Authority.

This is long, so if you are willing to give up some of your time, thank you. I love my mom, but I am very confused about this. Isn’t a mother supposed to be caring for her children, spend time with them, enrich their lives so they can grow up and become better people?

My mom had a difficult childhood. Her father left when she was two, and her mother was hardly around, and very strict. As a result, my mother was left caring for her two younger brothers, my uncles, and one was mentally retarded. She raised them, so she became a mother figure to them. She taught them how to read, write, all the things her mother should have done. It affects me, now, today. She has 3 kids, my sister, my brother, and I. And she works from 7 AM to 8 PM. When she comes home, I realize she is tired-Left out that I babysit my brother when she is working. I let her rest and settle down. But on the weekends, all she does is go to the mall, go "friendstering", talk on the phone, and curse my dad out. More information on that later~ Well, while she is having her fun, I am stuck changing my brother’s diapers, when she is 3 feet away….on the computer….IM-ing people. I am teaching him to read….while she watches CSI or a movie. I have to potty train and discipline, and she just WATCHES while talking on the phone. I am only 13…and this makes me feel like I don’t want to have kids when I grow up….and you know….I already picked out names. But I feel like a parent, when my mom is my age. Don’t misinterpret this; I do appreciate what my mother has done….bought me clothes, took me to parties…but honestly….that’s all.

In addition~she has no home. My dad(divorced) is extremly kind to take her in his home. They divorced 4 years ago. My mother always called him names….racist names sometimes (he is black, she is asian), in front of my sister and I. My sister used to copy her and call my dad those names too. My dad did so much. He is paying her every month, despite the fact that he has to pay for school tuition, and mortage, and debt. And still, she curses him out. 2 days ago, I was telling my sister to study, because she was getting D’s in subjects. She has been spending her entire summer glued to the computer screen. My mother overheard and then said, "At least she’s not flunking." I was confused…but then I thought her response was due to the fact that HER mother was incredibly strict when it came to grades, and hit her when she made bad ones. But still….I don’t know what to do. I am only 13….a sister…and a "mother" in a sense. Thank you for reading this…if you have. And any help would be appreciated.