Help Debts

Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

I have a 0 car payment and a 2 a month comittment with a debt consolidation company to pay 4 credit cards over the next 3 yrs. I’ve filled out job applications but I’m not getting called back. I joined a temp service but they say its slow and no work available. I don’t know what to do. I heard you can get a lawyer or an accountant to write a "hardship letter" to creditors. Is this true? Does it work? But what do I do about the debt consolidation company?? You can’t get blood from a stone. I don’t want to go bankrupt in case I buy a house in the future. What can I do?
I’ve tried to look for christmas help but no one is hiring… its sad. I walked the whole mall looking for a help wanted sign. NOT ONE.
Thanx Dale, yeah I kinda figured it is/might be a scam, I just ignored his comments about the get rich idea.

My husband has 2 daughters: one 24 years old and the other one 17. The old one works and lives with her boyfriend. The younger lives with us and dropped School and it is not working. My husband feels constantly worried for his daughters due to his ex-wife is very irresponsible. She is a prescription drug addicted and collects disability. She always has financial problems and manipulates their daughters to get money from my husband. For example she gets problems with bills, obligates her older daughter to give her money and then the older daughter comes complaining to my husband. So, finally my husband ends paying his ex-wife bills. On Christmas he gave big extra money to his girls to buy gifts for their mom and friends. My step-daughters are old enough to buy the gifts with their own money. I understand buying Christmas gifts for his daughters but giving them money to buy gifts for others. It was not making much sense to me. My husband looks worried to lose their daughters if he doesn’t help their mother. Lately he asked his ex-wife to go to a rehab and he will help her with a place where to live. I feel like he feels guilty and obligated with her. I mentioned him that his ex-wife has a big family that she sees every weekend and has sisters. Her family should help her, not him. He answers ‘her family won’t help her’. I feel like he doesn’t understand the line. He has a big debt and we shouldn’t be getting into more bills. I feel like he needs to make understand his daughters that he doesn’t have any obligation with their mom. My husband’s ex-wife cheated him in the past and they are divorced for almost 10 years. I believe he loves me deeply but I feel that he doesn’t know how to handle the boundaries and he puts constantly his daughters in the middle. I love my step-daughters but they should be more responsible. Just in case we don’t have kids together. Please, give me your inputs and I would like to know what you think about my situation. Thank you.

I have debt. My husband does not. We don’t hold any joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine (just like if we were single). I pay for groceries. He pays for his (our) house & the utilities.

My husband’s view is that my debt is my debt and mine only. He does not intend to help me pay it down in any way. I have not asked him to and am working on paying it down myself.

He tells me that I’m the reason we can’t move forward in our relationship (buy a new house/have kids) because I have to pay down my debt first.

He has the means to help me pay down my debt. And I’ve explained that if he were to do so, we could move forward in our relationship a lot sooner.

Am I wrong to think he should help me pay down my debt? How did you & your spouse handle debt incurred before marriage?

My thought is that most people combine their money into one account when they get married, they pay bills first, put some money into a savings, and then work on paying off the debt they have between them TOGETHER. Am I completely out of my mind? (Don’t worry – I won’t hold it against you if you say so!)

Help!!
More details: My husband is 35 and I’m 28. I went to a 4 year college, have federal loans (around K) at a minimal interest rate, graduated in 2006 and have 6 more years till they’re paid off. He went to a technical school & paid as he went. I use my credit card for everything and use all my cash to pay it down every month. A bad habit I started long ago and I’m working to change. I was K in debt when we got married (he knew this) and am now about K in debt 2 years later. The source of the debt is not things like Jimmy Choo’s & Prada bags, but too much spent on groceries at Walmart, too much spent on Christmas presents, too much spent on birthday cards, gifts, babyshowers, etc. He makes about K more than I do. No prenup was ever signed or anything like that. And since we’ve been married I’ve been trying to be like him & live within my means. I feel I’m doing a great job. For him, though it’s not getting paid down fast enough.

Okay, here’s my particular situation. My husband and I live in a way that I would consider frugal. We eat out once a week, otherwise I cook all of our meals. We tithe, put a lot (considering what we make — not like, millions) in savings and are almost done with *all* of our debt (student loans, car). This came out of necessity from us being relatively poor (no money in savings then) and has continued.

This Christmas, I’ve gotten a couple of nice gifts. A couple of checks and things. I spent *all* of it already.

This small spending spree has caused me to think about things differently — like, maybe I *can* wear cute clothes all the time, etc. Things I’d kind of given up the dream on.

I guess I’m concerned because I don’t feel like I accurately understand what materialism is. Compared to some in the US, maybe I’m not so materialistic — but I’m worried my view is skewed because we are so rich here!

So – What is materialism and how do you deal with it in your own life?

i am 20 yrs old, female. i steal everything, from make up, clothes, jewelry, cd’s & even my mom’s birthday & christmas presents. it is not something i am proud of, i don’t tell anyone because of it. but to be honest, i don’t know how to stop. i got arrested for stealing when i was 16, but that time it wasn’t my fault.. i was just with a friend who did it. now, it’s all me. most of the time i don’t have any money because i pay so much credit card debt, but even when i do have money to buy something, i’d rather just take it.. i think like, why would i spend on a victoria’s secret bra when i can have it for free? i know it is so wrong, & i want help… so i need some serious advice. please, without being mean, help me! i have a real problem.
i’m serious guys.. making jokes about it isn’t very nice. i’m on here asking ppl who i don’t even know for help, because i can’t go to my own friends & family, & all ya’ll can do is make fun of me.

My financial situation has decreased greatly recently and I owe more each month than I am making. This year I couldn’t even afford Christmas presents for my children. I’ve already refinanced my home a few months ago and therefore have no equity built up since then. Please let me know what my best recourse should be. Thank you

I am overwhelmed with gift giving in my husband’s large family. He has 3 siblings, 2 of them have spouses, 1 baby, and he has 2 parents. 8 people total plus my mother=9! There’s always some event coming up: bday, baptism, anniversary, Mom /Dad day etc. I usually don’t mind these events because they’re spread out over the year evenly. But Christmas is adding up and it’s near our anniversary and husband’s sister’s bday & my mothers!

We are on 1 income and never have credit card debt. We have a young son, money can be tight especially when we want to save a good % of his paycheck. He has student loans and all our bills have increased lately.

Every month we seem to be out -100+ for average gift giving, or more at Xmas. I just don’t like big gift giving. For Xmas, his family is doing a grab bag which is okay and easy.

My problem is my husband’s sister wants cash for her bday from ea. couple to buy a pricey gift for herself (she works but stays at home rent free).
I’m torn because yes she does give us a -ish gift at our birthdays and gives our son bday/Xmas gifts, but isn’t this a lot to come out and ask for directly?

If we give her cash, it wouldn’t be fair to others and we’d have to give everyone each birthday. Now that would add up times 8 people and would break us.

Earlier she asked for 0+ for the parents’ anniv. gift. We said we couldn’t do it. It’ll just become a habit and we’re tight as it is.

Since she works but lives at home rent free with minor bills, does she not understand our situation with a mortgage, student loans, baby bills, grocery bills, etc etc?

What should I say or do?

Please be nice – I’d appreciate your polite feedback either way.