Help Debts

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I have debt. My husband does not. We don’t hold any joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine (just like if we were single). I pay for groceries. He pays for his (our) house & the utilities.

My husband’s view is that my debt is my debt and mine only. He does not intend to help me pay it down in any way. I have not asked him to and am working on paying it down myself.

He tells me that I’m the reason we can’t move forward in our relationship (buy a new house/have kids) because I have to pay down my debt first.

He has the means to help me pay down my debt. And I’ve explained that if he were to do so, we could move forward in our relationship a lot sooner.

Am I wrong to think he should help me pay down my debt? How did you & your spouse handle debt incurred before marriage?

My thought is that most people combine their money into one account when they get married, they pay bills first, put some money into a savings, and then work on paying off the debt they have between them TOGETHER. Am I completely out of my mind? (Don’t worry – I won’t hold it against you if you say so!)

Help!!
More details: My husband is 35 and I’m 28. I went to a 4 year college, have federal loans (around K) at a minimal interest rate, graduated in 2006 and have 6 more years till they’re paid off. He went to a technical school & paid as he went. I use my credit card for everything and use all my cash to pay it down every month. A bad habit I started long ago and I’m working to change. I was K in debt when we got married (he knew this) and am now about K in debt 2 years later. The source of the debt is not things like Jimmy Choo’s & Prada bags, but too much spent on groceries at Walmart, too much spent on Christmas presents, too much spent on birthday cards, gifts, babyshowers, etc. He makes about K more than I do. No prenup was ever signed or anything like that. And since we’ve been married I’ve been trying to be like him & live within my means. I feel I’m doing a great job. For him, though it’s not getting paid down fast enough.

Hey all, I currently take home about 00 a month depending on commission (i do insurance). I am 25 and live at home, debt free, and have ,000 in my savings account and ,000 in my checking account right now. I wanted to move out and rent an apartment but everyone is telling me to buy a townhome/condo because it’ll be cheaper. Any thoughts on this? My car payment is currently 1 (its a lease that is up next june then I am definitely getting a cheaper car) and my auto insurance is 0. I pay about in gas every 2 weeks. My father pays my phone bill and we have group health insurance so I do not pay those bills. I spend about 0 on groceries a month. Based on all this plus rent, utilities etc. could i afford to move out? I know HOA fees can be expensive and utilities but I really want to move out!!!!I am actually meeting with my bosses tomorrow to discuss a raise since my 2 year review is tomorrow. any advice would be greatly appreciated

My husband insists on handling what he says is "his" money since he works and I am a SAHM. I have finally had enough of asking him for money to buy things like groceries or school supplies then getting ugly words thrown at me. He handles money poorly so we are deeply in debt and he will not budget or plan. It’s impossible for me to do things under his "rules". So I give up. He can do all the shopping for everything. I tried to manage our money for 2 years and he stayed angry with me when I would tell him in a store that we could not afford to buy this or that. I had to plan carefully all of our purchaces. Anyway I give up. Just wondering how others handle these things.

The first one if for a health care company. It would be for 3 grand less then the other job. I wouldn’t have to work weekends or nights. I also wouldn’t have any customer contact, I would be doing claims. It also wouldn’t offer any extra pay incentives.

The other job offer is more money (3,000 more). I have worked for this company before. However I would have to work one weekend day a week, and its also for credit card customer service. Phone work and back to back calls. Actually I worked this position before, but they now have different systems. There is the opportunity to make extra money. It would include selling and also be based off metrics ( call quality, call time) This company however due to the economy will not be giving out raises for the next two years.

About me: I have worked for financial companies for the past 7 years and have always been in a heavy customer contact positions. I am good at working on phones but don’t enjoy it. I am looking to go into the health care field for a long term career either by getting my CNA or going into medical billing and coding. Money is a influential factor to me, but my spouse makes a decent amount of pay. With his salary we can pay our bills and have a bit left over for groceries, but are not able to pay off any debt or have extra money for fun outings. Paying off all of our debt in the next two years is one of our goals. We are looking to be debt free. I have however been unemployed for the last month (laid off) and have really learned how to save and shop better.

I am just so torn between the two. It’s really weird to have no job offers then two pop up at the same time. I really like the fact for having no customer contact, but I know we can also use any extra money. It’s really down to the point of choosing money or happiness.

Any advice is greatly appreciated….what do you think I should pick…also which one would you pick and why? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and your response.

I have 00 in savings. I have a credit card that has 00 on it.

I just bought a house and believe I am living simply and within my means. After all mortgage payments, car loan, student loans, and the above mentioned credit card, I have about 5 for the month.

If I consider electric and phone/internet that’s about 0. Leaving me with 5 for gas and groceries. Sewer and water bill are negligible.

The credit card has a minimum payment of about monthly.

I’m most comfortable having the least amount in monthly expenditures.

Would it be wise to just pay off the credit card with the money from savings and free up that each month? I’d then have about 00 in savings and would hopefully be able to save a little bit each month, but my monthly expenditures would be less.

Advice appreciated.

So I love my family to death, not just my mom but my aunts, uncles, grandma, etc. When I first came to move here, I stood with my aunt for a couple of years. Then, I found a job, an apartment and I moved out. When I moved out, my cousin wanted to live with me. I agreed and she has been living with me rent free. I pay rent, luckily all utilities are included and I have a good job. But it seems weird that I have debt even though I don’t have kids, don’t own credit cards and my bank account is always at zero. Well, fine, I was young and me and my cousin, we just wanted to party. It was fun! But now, I am getting closer to my 30’s and I sit back and try to figure out, What do I have to show for all the money that I made working? Absolutely nothing but a mountain of debt! I want to get back on track and figured I can pay off my hospital bills (lol, yes we went that wild. Nothing life threatening, but broken bones and muscles), pay off old phone bills, and back rent that I owe but it seems like, no matter how hard I try, when I get paid, it seems to disappear the same day I get paid. My cousin, she is past her thirties. I tried finding her a job but she keeps complaining that she doesn’t want to do cleaning or work nights. But beggars’ can’t be choosers right? I mean, she doesn’t have her HS diploma, she doesn’t have kids to worry about, and she can easily get a cleaning job, no matter what time, and still work and make money. This would help me financially as sometimes, during the week we have nothing to eat until I get paid again. And then, when I get paid and offer to buy some groceries, she convinces me to eat out again. So I keep falling for her constant “Let’s go do this and that…” I know I am a big girl and should know better, and it seems like so much fun but I think its time for me to get financially savvy as I someday wish to have kids and find my soul mate. I don’t want to be a financial mess then but in order to catch up to my debt (in which in all reality, some of my debt was actually done by her especially getting cell phones and not paying the bill.) and although its family, I don’t think its fair that I have to climb this mountain alone. I think its time for me to take a stance or better yet, take control. Can someone offer some good advice on how I can take back my financial control as well as learn to not fall for the fun stuff that always leaves me broke? What can I say to my cousin when she keeps me wasting money? How can I kindly explain to her that I can’t afford to buy her new things for her car, clothes and give her spare money to waste? Yea, that’s another thing. Between her mother and I, every time we get paid, she gets an allowance. Are we enabling her? Oh, and something else, for some reason, she doesnt want guys talking to me, hanging with me or even calling me. Like I try to date, and she scares them away. I cant have friends over because she doesnt have friends and dont like my friends… I am stuck!

I need the public’s advice since I will not mention this to family or friends. I am in a very large amount of debt and I have been for some time now. It is so stressful I have lost my appetite, I’m losing weight (and I don’t need to), I can’t concentrate at work, all I can think about is my debt and bills and how much I’m going to overdraft this pay period. I currently work full time at a very respectable job and as I do make fairly good money for a person my age and no college degree it does not pay my bills. I have rent, utilities, car payment & insurance, (I’m not 25 so my car ins. is ridiculous, day care for my child, furniture payments, phone, groceries, etc..anyways I am seriously considering dancing at a gentlemans club to pay off my debt. I’m a very classy & respected lady if anyone I knew saw me I would die but I don’t know what else to do. I will not ruin my credit by filing bankruptcy. The longer the intrest bulids & overdrafts continue I find myself further and further in debt. Please advise if I should just go & make the cash to be debt free!?