Help Debts

Posts Tagged ‘mom’

My husband has 2 daughters: one 24 years old and the other one 17. The old one works and lives with her boyfriend. The younger lives with us and dropped School and it is not working. My husband feels constantly worried for his daughters due to his ex-wife is very irresponsible. She is a prescription drug addicted and collects disability. She always has financial problems and manipulates their daughters to get money from my husband. For example she gets problems with bills, obligates her older daughter to give her money and then the older daughter comes complaining to my husband. So, finally my husband ends paying his ex-wife bills. On Christmas he gave big extra money to his girls to buy gifts for their mom and friends. My step-daughters are old enough to buy the gifts with their own money. I understand buying Christmas gifts for his daughters but giving them money to buy gifts for others. It was not making much sense to me. My husband looks worried to lose their daughters if he doesn’t help their mother. Lately he asked his ex-wife to go to a rehab and he will help her with a place where to live. I feel like he feels guilty and obligated with her. I mentioned him that his ex-wife has a big family that she sees every weekend and has sisters. Her family should help her, not him. He answers ‘her family won’t help her’. I feel like he doesn’t understand the line. He has a big debt and we shouldn’t be getting into more bills. I feel like he needs to make understand his daughters that he doesn’t have any obligation with their mom. My husband’s ex-wife cheated him in the past and they are divorced for almost 10 years. I believe he loves me deeply but I feel that he doesn’t know how to handle the boundaries and he puts constantly his daughters in the middle. I love my step-daughters but they should be more responsible. Just in case we don’t have kids together. Please, give me your inputs and I would like to know what you think about my situation. Thank you.

we have a debt of ,000
i think it’s because both my parents did not work consistently… if they were fired from a job or something, it would take years to get another one… plus also they overspent sometimes… especially on food…

so my mom couldn’t handle it all anymore and left with my little brother to her mother’s…. half way across the world

there would always be fights between my parents and she said she needs to get away from it all

she wanted me and my sister to come too but we said we are not going to leave our dad all alone to pay off the debts

she thinks we’re choosing him over her, which is really not true… we’re just not the type of people to leave someone when they’re in trouble…

how can i make my mom understand that no one has the luxury to just run away from all the mess they’ve created?
she says that it’s all my dad’s fault, he’s THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE and it’s his responsibility to provide for the family… !
I’m 20 yrs old and my sister is 15
and it’s been 3 months now that we haven’t seen them

plus now she has all these problems with her heart and we have to be careful with what we say and do… she’s already been to the hospital while she was away
we cannot file for bankruptcy for reasons I cannot mention here

we have a debt of ,000
i think it’s because both my parents did not work consistently… if they were fired from a job or something, it would take years to get another one… plus also they overspent sometimes… especially on food…

so my mom couldn’t handle it all anymore and left with my little brother to her mother’s…. half way across the world

there would always be fights between my parents and she said she needs to get away from it all

she wanted me and my sister to come too but we said we are not going to leave our dad all alone to pay off the debts

she thinks we’re choosing him over her, which is really not true… we’re just not the type of people to leave someone when they’re in trouble…

how can i make my mom understand that no one has the luxury to just run away from all the mess they’ve created?
she says that it’s all my dad’s fault, he’s THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE and it’s his responsibility to provide for the family… !
I’m 20 yrs old and my sister is 15
and it’s been 3 months now that we haven’t seen them

plus now she has all these problems with her heart and we have to be careful with what we say and do… she’s already been to the hospital while she was away
we cannot file for bankruptcy for reasons I cannot mention here

we have a debt of ,000
i think it’s because both my parents did not work consistently… if they were fired from a job or something, it would take years to get another one… plus also they overspent sometimes… especially on food…

so my mom couldn’t handle it all anymore and left with my little brother to her mother’s…. half way across the world

there would always be fights between my parents and she said she needs to get away from it all

she wanted me and my sister to come too but we said we are not going to leave our dad all alone to pay off the debts

she thinks we’re choosing him over her, which is really not true… we’re just not the type of people to leave someone when they’re in trouble…

how can i make my mom understand that no one has the luxury to just run away from all the mess they’ve created?
she says that it’s all my dad’s fault, he’s THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE and it’s his responsibility to provide for the family… !
i’m 20 yrs old and my sister is 15
and it’s been 3 months now that we haven’t seen them

plus now she has all these problems with her heart and we have to be careful with what we say and do… she’s already been to the hospital while she was away
we cannot file for bankruptcy for reasons I cannot mention here

I had surgery about a two months ago on my arm. My husband’s health insurance has high deductibles and left us with a bill of over 00. The surgery was an outpatient procedure which was very expensive for a minor one. However, the follow-up care cost the most.

My husband and I are currently in an open chapter 13 bankruptcy. So our available cash is limited for bills. We are almost out of bankruptcy within the next year. Living on almost a third of your available net income has been a challenge but we tightened our belts after the first year by getting a less expensive rental, cutting out unnecessary items. Our car that we had when we filed went bad and we had to purchase a newer vehicle. So any extra money is now tied up in a monthly car payment.

The billing office of the hospital where I had the surgery has been hounding me for a payment or payment arrangement. I tried to explain that we are in a bankruptcy at the moment and would try at least something every month to pay the bill. We had registration renewal and a driver license renewal this month at the cost of almost 0. It’s not much but is hurts when money is tight anyhow.

I’m willing to pay the bill, but medical care costs are ridiculous in this country. My sister had major surgery over 20 years ago and it only cost 00. She had to have rods put into her foot after shattering her ankle. My mom didn’t have to pay hardly any deductibles. My husband just had
a heart monitor done and it cost 00! I did manage to get his hospital to make payment arrangements to pay a month until after we are discharged from the bankruptcy then pay for the co-pay in full afterwards. Our credit score is getting in the good range and we want to be able to rent a nice apartment within a year. Getting a collection on my part might hurt our chances of getting a new place. Why are medical collectors so greedy? They made over 10K from my husband’s insurance. I am not working at the moment. Let them try to sue me. You can’t get blood from a turnip. Just frustrated. Thanks.

This is long, so if you are willing to give up some of your time, thank you. I love my mom, but I am very confused about this. Isn’t a mother supposed to be caring for her children, spend time with them, enrich their lives so they can grow up and become better people?

My mom had a difficult childhood. Her father left when she was two, and her mother was hardly around, and very strict. As a result, my mother was left caring for her two younger brothers, my uncles, and one was mentally retarded. She raised them, so she became a mother figure to them. She taught them how to read, write, all the things her mother should have done. It affects me, now, today. She has 3 kids, my sister, my brother, and I. And she works from 7 AM to 8 PM. When she comes home, I realize she is tired-Left out that I babysit my brother when she is working. I let her rest and settle down. But on the weekends, all she does is go to the mall, go "friendstering", talk on the phone, and curse my dad out. More information on that later~ Well, while she is having her fun, I am stuck changing my brother’s diapers, when she is 3 feet away….on the computer….IM-ing people. I am teaching him to read….while she watches CSI or a movie. I have to potty train and discipline, and she just WATCHES while talking on the phone. I am only 13…and this makes me feel like I don’t want to have kids when I grow up….and you know….I already picked out names. But I feel like a parent, when my mom is my age. Don’t misinterpret this; I do appreciate what my mother has done….bought me clothes, took me to parties…but honestly….that’s all.

In addition~she has no home. My dad(divorced) is extremly kind to take her in his home. They divorced 4 years ago. My mother always called him names….racist names sometimes (he is black, she is asian), in front of my sister and I. My sister used to copy her and call my dad those names too. My dad did so much. He is paying her every month, despite the fact that he has to pay for school tuition, and mortage, and debt. And still, she curses him out. 2 days ago, I was telling my sister to study, because she was getting D’s in subjects. She has been spending her entire summer glued to the computer screen. My mother overheard and then said, "At least she’s not flunking." I was confused…but then I thought her response was due to the fact that HER mother was incredibly strict when it came to grades, and hit her when she made bad ones. But still….I don’t know what to do. I am only 13….a sister…and a "mother" in a sense. Thank you for reading this…if you have. And any help would be appreciated.

My mom and I bought a house together (both of our names on the house) in May 2007. First payment was July 2007. I am the only one who has been paying for the mortgage ever since, and all the household expenses. So far I paid ,100.00 for mortgage, escrow and interest! That’s right, twenty-eight thousand dollars! All my own money.

I get angry from time to time and get into argument with her for not helping with expenses. It feels like I’m carrying the house on my back and she’s sitting on the house! I confronted her that she cannot live here for free anymore! She has to start paying for something! (note that 6 mos ago I demanded her to take care of electric bills and she does that) So recently the last few days there was a really bad tension. I told her to start paying 1/3 of all household expenses (that’s mortgage, electricity, water, phone and home warranty) starting in October 1st. She was not happy and claimed that it is unfair!

Unfair!? Is it unfair? I need your help! What do you think I should do?? How do I figure this all out?? I’m getting out of this house (I will sell it next year) and not have to put up with her taking advantage of me. I’m struggling with high credit card debt and supporting my 2 boys on my own. I receive SSD for my both boys and myself. That’s not much, around 00 a month. I do get child support weekly but I will not count that as income. I don’t work because I’m going to school full time and am hoping to get a job after I graduate in May (out of Florida).

I hope to hear from you guys with answers! I need to type up an agreement for me and my mom to sign that from October 1st and on, this is how much we would pay for our expenses,..fairly!

Another thing: I count my boys and myself as 3 in a household (head of house). My mom count herself as 1 in a household (single). That’s how we do it on our tax return, regardless that we (4 of us) live together in 3 bedroom 2 bath house. I think 1/3 of household expense is fair enough for her to pay because I consider my 2 boys together as 1 adult, so there’s 3 of us, split 1/3 each. What do you think?

Any advice would be so much appreciated! Thank you!!
~Carm

i am 20 yrs old, female. i steal everything, from make up, clothes, jewelry, cd’s & even my mom’s birthday & christmas presents. it is not something i am proud of, i don’t tell anyone because of it. but to be honest, i don’t know how to stop. i got arrested for stealing when i was 16, but that time it wasn’t my fault.. i was just with a friend who did it. now, it’s all me. most of the time i don’t have any money because i pay so much credit card debt, but even when i do have money to buy something, i’d rather just take it.. i think like, why would i spend on a victoria’s secret bra when i can have it for free? i know it is so wrong, & i want help… so i need some serious advice. please, without being mean, help me! i have a real problem.
i’m serious guys.. making jokes about it isn’t very nice. i’m on here asking ppl who i don’t even know for help, because i can’t go to my own friends & family, & all ya’ll can do is make fun of me.

I am a 23 year old woman who works and goes to school full time pursuing a finance major. I am also the head of my household since I take care of my unemployed mother and full time college student brother. My mom has been looking for a job for a year alreday but her difficulty to speak english seems to stop her to get any kind of job (even as a housekeeper), my brother is a freshman, he goes and lives at JHU so he pretty much cannot to work right now. I have been trying to keep a balance in my life but I this point and frustrated and desperate. I am not only tired but very discourage about the future. In spite of working hard and trying to keep up with my bills, my life, I have been having episodes where I get dizzy, weak, sometimes get this weird headaches and feel that I am going to faint sometimes and I just cry. I know it sounds like a lot but not only until the last 2-3 months I have been feeling like this, I guess it is because I am so in debt now and have been paying for stuff such with my credit cards even books and school tuition(partially). I have a very supportive boyfriend who has been helping me through this, giving me courage to keep going forward, but I do not want to keep bothering him with my problems, I mean I know he has his own worries. SO IF ANYBODY COULD POSSIBLY GIVE ME ANY TYPE OF ADVICE, FINANCIAL, EMOTIONAL, HEALTH, ANY ANY ADVICE OF HOW CAN I COPE WITH THIS SITUATION AND MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DROP A LINE…EVEN A WORD OF COURAGE WILL HELP
In this crisis we should all help each other

I cant take anymore I am so broke and in debt, my utilities are behind and set for disconnect. I have no money for rent or any other bills. I have barrowed all i can barrow. my husband has changed jobs three times already and its looking up but what about now. I want to help I want to go to work but i have 2 lil ones and my disabled mother i care for. Im tired of watching the people around me so care free and with plenty of money,nice cars, high maintnance pets credit cards. and no worries, i mean i know everyone has worries but if you are living like me you know what i mean. while people like me are drowning in debt. I have never been left anything and never will i dont want my kids to go through this but i dont know what to do. How can i get on my feet and fast? No bs websites please! I have no education I dropped out in high school cause i was moved so around so much and mom just gave up. Im tired of my husband working his a** off for nothing to barely scrape by, he works soo hard. Rent is to high everywhere nothing is affordable anymore. All i want is a home and a break. Please give me some advice im really depressed so if your gonna be mean just pass me by please.