Help Debts

Posts Tagged ‘prada bags’

I have debt. My husband does not. We don’t hold any joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine (just like if we were single). I pay for groceries. He pays for his (our) house & the utilities.

My husband’s view is that my debt is my debt and mine only. He does not intend to help me pay it down in any way. I have not asked him to and am working on paying it down myself.

He tells me that I’m the reason we can’t move forward in our relationship (buy a new house/have kids) because I have to pay down my debt first.

He has the means to help me pay down my debt. And I’ve explained that if he were to do so, we could move forward in our relationship a lot sooner.

Am I wrong to think he should help me pay down my debt? How did you & your spouse handle debt incurred before marriage?

My thought is that most people combine their money into one account when they get married, they pay bills first, put some money into a savings, and then work on paying off the debt they have between them TOGETHER. Am I completely out of my mind? (Don’t worry – I won’t hold it against you if you say so!)

Help!!
More details: My husband is 35 and I’m 28. I went to a 4 year college, have federal loans (around K) at a minimal interest rate, graduated in 2006 and have 6 more years till they’re paid off. He went to a technical school & paid as he went. I use my credit card for everything and use all my cash to pay it down every month. A bad habit I started long ago and I’m working to change. I was K in debt when we got married (he knew this) and am now about K in debt 2 years later. The source of the debt is not things like Jimmy Choo’s & Prada bags, but too much spent on groceries at Walmart, too much spent on Christmas presents, too much spent on birthday cards, gifts, babyshowers, etc. He makes about K more than I do. No prenup was ever signed or anything like that. And since we’ve been married I’ve been trying to be like him & live within my means. I feel I’m doing a great job. For him, though it’s not getting paid down fast enough.