Help Debts

Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

My boyfriend of 4years is having a lot of financial trouble for mistakes he made in the past. We would like to get married and buy a house, but I need him to learn how to handle money and fix his debt and credit. Problem is, neither of us know what to do or where to go to get him help. Does anyone have suggestions? People to talk to…places to go…books to read…please help.

PS…This is not a question about our relationship. Please keep your comments about that (ie. "you need to get rid of him") out of your responses.

I am a 35 year old woman and I don’t work. No one would hire me because I haven’t been employed for several years now. I live with my father, her gf and their kids. I dont receive any governent support and financially depend on my dad and use credit cards. I have amassed a huge school loan (50K) since I went to graduate school as well. I just babysit my half sisters and brother but I don’t want this life anymore. My dad does care for me since he does want me to move out and find a nice and stable guy, so I feel pressured to do so, but deep down I have virtually zero interest in being in a relationship.

Sometimes I feel like ending it all, and I always cry in my sleep. I feel like I am a disappointment to my family. I just wish to find a good job so I can move out and be financially independent and debt free. I dont know what to do anymore I feel like I am stuck in a rut.

I guess I want advice on how to get out of this rut and start my life. Should I get a loan and move to the midwest and try my luck there in finding a job? Or join the military/army/marines/airforce/navy or anything in the gov’t that will forgive my school loans, but I think I’m too old for that.. Or do I have a chance to do that still?

I dont have any friends to talk about this so I appreciate any advice that you can give me. Thank you

How did you wives handle his constant coming and going from the house? Mine likes to stay at his mom’s. He is all stressed over finances and his post affair guilt. Says he wants to get us out of debt and work on him by seeing a shrink. Claims he is in no rush for "us" to repair our relationship. I’m starting to give up. MLC totally sucks! They are crazy little children who like to run away from responsibilities. I’m unemployed with 3 small kids. All he does is work and come and go. Then when he is home all he does is bitch and complain. HELP!!!!!! Oh and he loves to flip flop between divorce and staying together. No…that’s not emotional abuse at all……I just want to slap the shit out of him and tell him to wake up and be the 41 year old man he is!

I am having really bad depression issues,
Mainly because I am financially in debt, and can’t afford my rent or bills for next month, and my hours at work got cut back bad.
And because of the fact that my mom and brother (only family of mine who live close by) hate my bf, which is putting a huge strain on our relationship, because he wants to be able for us all to get along, and yes he did do things that he shouldn’t of that made them mad, but not things they should be holding onto for months.
The car I drive is unregistered and the only person who can get it registered is my mom, but for some reason she just won’t do it, I even printed out the papers for her, and she lost them! I can’t drive the car once my baby is born if it is unregistered, and she just won’t help me. I have to have a car to get to work dr apps. Etc.. (it was my grandparents car, they both passed away, the trust is in my moms name, there for the car is technically hers).
Idk I’m so stressed out, and its getting harder and harder to deal with, I am never happy anymore, and I just want to sleep all day, I go to work and other then that stay home all the time, I don’t want to be around anyone including my family or boyfriend.
I want to be problem free before my baby is born so I can give her the best life possible, but it just seems like nothing is ever going to get better…..
Ok so my venting is done for now…..
What can I do to start making things better?
I want to be a happy mommy, and I don’t want all my energy to be consumed with my issues, because I know I will need it all for her.
Any advice please.

we have been together for nearly 4years. i’m 22 almost 23 and he is 27 almost 28.. last year he moved to Italy (it was a mutual decision) to be with his family and to built a future. Our plan was, when he settles there, makes some money and finds a good job, we get married and i join him there.
when he went to italy he found that his father’s business is not doing good and that his father was on the verge of bankruptcy and had a lot of debt..
So for the past year he worked for his father for free in order to help him. and he took some jobs on the side and sent me the money to save it. Now what we saved can almost cover all the wedding expenses.
Anyhow, he recently started looking for a job but no luck. and he has been so stressed out.
i really feel depressed and lonely and i feel that we aren’t moving forward.. i see people that we both knew getting married and starting up their lives while we are stuck. people are always asking me the same question "when are u getting married?" "when is he coming th visit?" which drives me nuts

Our relationship in the past year was really strong, i visited him in the summer and i spent a month there. We are both good people and we get along very well and we really love each other.

P.S now i’m studying to get my master’s degree, the program is very intense and i’m killing myself to succeed

please give me any advice? anything will help??
what do u think i should do??

My boyfriends parents absolutely HATE me. What do i do about this? If we’re on the phone, they find a lame excuse to interupt. If he’s coming home to visit me [hes 3 hours away with his dad helping him out with his back problems AND hes 23 and we've been together A WHILE], his dad tells him he doesn’t want him coming to visit me because he thinks ill abduct him! WTF! thats just nonsense! They are ruining our relationship and he knows it but they’re really helping him out financially as long as he helps his dad out. He isnt in debt but they’re helping him safe so when he comes home in a few weeks he can get an apartment and not have to live with his old roomates that screwed him over. How do i handle this?

I have debt. My husband does not. We don’t hold any joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine (just like if we were single). I pay for groceries. He pays for his (our) house & the utilities.

My husband’s view is that my debt is my debt and mine only. He does not intend to help me pay it down in any way. I have not asked him to and am working on paying it down myself.

He tells me that I’m the reason we can’t move forward in our relationship (buy a new house/have kids) because I have to pay down my debt first.

He has the means to help me pay down my debt. And I’ve explained that if he were to do so, we could move forward in our relationship a lot sooner.

Am I wrong to think he should help me pay down my debt? How did you & your spouse handle debt incurred before marriage?

My thought is that most people combine their money into one account when they get married, they pay bills first, put some money into a savings, and then work on paying off the debt they have between them TOGETHER. Am I completely out of my mind? (Don’t worry – I won’t hold it against you if you say so!)

Help!!
More details: My husband is 35 and I’m 28. I went to a 4 year college, have federal loans (around K) at a minimal interest rate, graduated in 2006 and have 6 more years till they’re paid off. He went to a technical school & paid as he went. I use my credit card for everything and use all my cash to pay it down every month. A bad habit I started long ago and I’m working to change. I was K in debt when we got married (he knew this) and am now about K in debt 2 years later. The source of the debt is not things like Jimmy Choo’s & Prada bags, but too much spent on groceries at Walmart, too much spent on Christmas presents, too much spent on birthday cards, gifts, babyshowers, etc. He makes about K more than I do. No prenup was ever signed or anything like that. And since we’ve been married I’ve been trying to be like him & live within my means. I feel I’m doing a great job. For him, though it’s not getting paid down fast enough.